You have to be more specific. Are you talking about the aftermath of that mission we spectacularly failed or my being a complete ass on the network? Because I'm all too aware everyone saw that.
[ is he telling the truth, or saying this just because it's probably best to pretend he hadn't even if he did? it's a mystery. ]
Failure never feels good, but it's always a possibility. [ ... and while it might feel especially bad in some cases, is it worse that yuwon thinks this still doesn't scratch the surface of how bad it could have been? ]
This isn't my first time failing a mission, but nothing of this scale before. Saying that we've "abandoned humanity" is new, but... I kind of expected this outcome despite hoping that everything will turn out fine.
[ it's the learned helplessness, knowing that anything they did back there is futile. but it's also partly because of a special type of nihility that she and her fellow citydwellers have been feeling for a long time now. ]
I don't think you need to think so hard about it. [ the abandoned humanity bit. priorities as far as yuwon knew tended to look different from the outside in. ] We may have just been lucky before.
[ meaning, maybe this is more the norm in this world, if the destroyed cities of busan and even kyoto were anything to go by. ]
Hah. Go right ahead, it's not like I was the only one telling her to piss off.
[ anyway, ]
Our luck is bound to run out at some point. All we gotta do now is move on and think twice next time. It didn't help that me and everyone else from our group has been affected by the rifts...
Yeah, I was just going to say if you feel guilty... [ ... ] It's nothing. Like you said, we just need to focus on what we can. Everything else is pointless.
Are you okay from using your abilities? [ outside of the rifts, if he recalls correctly... ]
[ is it funnier that he was actually thinking there was no reason for guilt. in the larger scheme of things, while it's a natural sensation, he also didn't see it as an emotion that necessarily got them results. ... but, he feels like ishmael may have come across her own realizations here, and there was no arguing with that. ]
Looks like I didn't need to worry.
[ did he mean about her using her e.g.o. or about her prior statement. ]
Save it for next time. [ actually: ] Or don't. Either way, I am sure since none of us were satisfied this time, we'll make sure to kill it next time.
Yeah, but a simple "hi, I'm doing okay, stay safe" would've only taken you ten seconds. It's not like our communications were that hampered between two groups either.
You must have had some rough people you worked with.
[ he could relate if just because he was also used to factoring in son ohgong's wild antics as part of his plans. ]
If that's the case, it's good. I don't think you need another reminder, but just try and not overthink. It's not like it helps us right now. Though, I get everyone is still sensitive.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@NIGHTFALL, text.
[ he gets the feeling like he hasn't seen much of her since they've touched back at base.
maybe this is his own way of checking in. he only got ripped by rodya recently, so here he is. 🧍♂️ ]
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Not much. Not since coming back from that colossal mess.
You?
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[ since, it's not like he's ever really got settled in some ways... ]
Are you still thinking about what happened?
[ tbf, not much time has actually passed and it could be way too soon to delve into this, but... ]
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You have to be more specific. Are you talking about the aftermath of that mission we spectacularly failed or my being a complete ass on the network? Because I'm all too aware everyone saw that.
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[ is he telling the truth, or saying this just because it's probably best to pretend he hadn't even if he did? it's a mystery. ]
Failure never feels good, but it's always a possibility. [ ... and while it might feel especially bad in some cases, is it worse that yuwon thinks this still doesn't scratch the surface of how bad it could have been? ]
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Well, never mind that.
This isn't my first time failing a mission, but nothing of this scale before. Saying that we've "abandoned humanity" is new, but... I kind of expected this outcome despite hoping that everything will turn out fine.
[ it's the learned helplessness, knowing that anything they did back there is futile. but it's also partly because of a special type of nihility that she and her fellow citydwellers have been feeling for a long time now. ]
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[ jk. ]
I don't think you need to think so hard about it. [ the abandoned humanity bit. priorities as far as yuwon knew tended to look different from the outside in. ] We may have just been lucky before.
[ meaning, maybe this is more the norm in this world, if the destroyed cities of busan and even kyoto were anything to go by. ]
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[ anyway, ]
Our luck is bound to run out at some point. All we gotta do now is move on and think twice next time. It didn't help that me and everyone else from our group has been affected by the rifts...
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from "i'd kill her" to this. ]
Yeah, I was just going to say if you feel guilty... [ ... ] It's nothing. Like you said, we just need to focus on what we can. Everything else is pointless.
Are you okay from using your abilities? [ outside of the rifts, if he recalls correctly... ]
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Of course I'm guilty. But it's good that we feel guilt, even if it's an iota of it. It proves that we have not abandoned humanity just yet.
[ it's been something that's been on her mind lately, so it's nice that she's able to put it into words now. ]
You mean my E.G.O? I didn't use it much back there. Afraid that I might corrode and impede our mission. [ a sigh. ] So much for that.
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Looks like I didn't need to worry.
[ did he mean about her using her e.g.o. or about her prior statement. ]
Save it for next time. [ actually: ] Or don't. Either way, I am sure since none of us were satisfied this time, we'll make sure to kill it next time.
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If they'd even let us take it on again, that is. But hey, third time's the charm, right?
Thanks for checking in on me, though. But... What's this about you and Rodya?
[ uh oh ]
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but, he doesn't seem to dig into it any further. while he thinks the conversation has mostly wrapped up, he then sees the last question. ]
Did she bring it up to you?
[ but, he does think it's good that rodya has someone she can confide in. ]
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In the tower, it was normal to go to no contact for even months.
[ or even a year. don't @ him. ]
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[ lol, but that's probably not the point. ]
I've already been hit if that's what you were wondering about.
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Honestly, you should've seen that coming. Rodya's got quite the arm strength.
[ she would know. ]
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[ he's definitely including malkuth in this consideration? but, since she opened this topic up— ]
How are you two?
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[ ishmael can get pretty unruly when emotional. just ask wriothesley. ]
We're fine. Like I said, this isn't the first time we failed a mission. Just the same old, same old.
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[ he could relate if just because he was also used to factoring in son ohgong's wild antics as part of his plans. ]
If that's the case, it's good. I don't think you need another reminder, but just try and not overthink. It's not like it helps us right now. Though, I get everyone is still sensitive.
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[ yeah... sure............ ]
Everyone deals with it in various ways. You should probably check in with the others who need it more than me because of it.
But... thanks. For doing that to me anyway.
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[ since she's been around from the start.
but, he doesn't continue this line of conversation for long. ]
We'll see about checking in on the others.