[ ishmael slightly jumps - the gloomy atmosphere of the graveyard got to her, predictably - and turns to ereshkigal, eyeing the tablet on her hand. huh, is that the latest newfangled technology lately? she doesn't know.
once again, ishmael doesn't have it in her to get mad. she even huffs out a weak laugh. ]
It is beautiful, in a way. [ some of the gravestones are elaborately designed, telling ishmael all she knows about the person lying beneath or the people who bothered to go that extra mile. some of them have candles and incense that have been recently lit, some of them have flowers. lots and lots of flowers. ]
It's fine. Like I said, I needed some fresh air. [ she then lifts a small paperbag. ] I brought a snack too, in case you were hungry.
[ Soon there will be even more flowers! Or so she hopes... That's part of why she plans to move the flower shop close to the cemetery. And-- I-Ishmael brought her something?
Ereshkigal takes the can and gives it a puzzled look. Blinks blinks. S-She's seen those before, they contain various sorts of drinks, don't they...? And yet she's called it a snack? Does Ishmael feed only with liquids, perhaps? She very carefully pulls on the lid and...
C-Cake?!? ]
H-How curious...
[ It would be most undignified for her to dip a finger in to taste what it is like... ]
[ She closes the lid and smiles at Ishmael. It's very kind and thoughtful of her. She'll be sure to eat it when she'll be alone. ]
Come, it's warmer inside.
[ It's not a long walk from here to the office Eresh was in. The room is filled with neatly organized clay tablets, hundreds of them by the looks of it-- There are also books on a desk, a few closed cases and a lone chair that's gathering dust. And flowers. Lots of flowers.
... The hallways are pretty empty though. Working at the graveyard isn't exactly a booming business. ]
[ and just as she said that, dark clouds start to take over the skies as if on cue. so ishmael nods and follows ereshkigal inside the offices, where she's awed by the numerous clay tablets in display -- can she even read what's written on them? -- and most especially the flowers. for a dreary workplace, she sure managed to make it pretty and livable.
reminds her of the flowers wriothesley used to send her, actually.
she silently walks over to a chair and sits down, still taking it all in. ]
Do you... work alone? [ nothing like idle chatter to break up the monotony. ]
Usually. [She writes something on her clay tablet. It's all written in cuneiform, but Ishmael should be able to read what with the auto-translator LILITH got(?)] There are quite a few other employees, but people who stick with that job, well... [A pause.] W-We're not exactly social butterflies.
[ It takes a certain kind of person to spend more time with the dead than with the living. Either it's a choice and they're drawn to the job because they like the peace and quiet... Either they have no other choice and they become like that upon sticking with it. ]
My role here is somewhat akin to what they would call a cemetery manager... Though I prefer the word caretaker. [She puts the clay tablet down, neatly atop another.] For Wriothesley, I will also be acting as the mortician and personally handle every step of the process.
[ She turns back to Ishmael and approaches her. ]
What I talked to you about over the network is called embalming. For some people, being able to see the deceased one last time helps them grieve and process their sorrow... [She tilts her head.] But I want you to think about yourself here, alright? It helps some people, but it hurts others. No two souls are the same. [Ereshkigal gets down on a knee and takes Ishmael's hands with her own.
She is a far cry from the usually awkward and self-depreciating goddess when she is in her element, even though the air of sorrow around her is even stronger than usual.] Tezcatlipoca and I can handle the cremation on our own, and then we'll have the ceremony for you and everyone start on the ocean's shores with the scattering of the ashes if that is your preference. There are no wrong answers.
[ usually ishmael is attentive enough, but this time, ereskigal's explanations which are easy to understand don't quite register in her head. she still feels like she's having an out-of-body experience, which is surreal since she's no stranger to death before. no, she's more than intimidate with death. ereshkigal had seen her kiss a skeleton with no hesitation just a few months ago, after all.
it takes her a few more seconds after ereshkigal's inquiry before ishmael snaps back to reality, blinking rapidly at the goddess. right, right. focus. her grip tightens in ereshkigal's hold as she considers... all this. ]
I think... it'd be best if the others can see him one last time, in his pristine form. [ before his body torn apart by those ingrates. ] I did... some research, and I like the idea of a eulogy. Where his other peers talk about the good times they had with him. He rarely talks about himself, as you might already know by now.
[ she forces a small laugh here. ]
I didn't know Tezcatlipoca can also perform these kinds of rites. Is it usually customary for gods to bury their own people?
[ even if gods keep a certain distance from their people, having to handle the dead must take a toll on them all the same. ereshkigal, most of all. ]
[ Ereshkigal looks worried when Ishmael spaces out for a moment. This must be taking its toll on her... Understandably so. Of all the outsiders who suffered last month - who were tortured - hers is the cruelest of fates. ]
We welcome their souls in the afterlife - and in my case, take care of them until they are ready to move on. [A pause.] I-It's very new for me to be on that side of the process.
[ She is the caretaker of those who no longer live. To comfort those left behind... It is far more difficult of a task than she had imagined. But she has to try. Ultimately, it is still what she has always done, even if those she must now comfort are alive. ]
Tezcatlipoca is more knowledgeable than I where cremation is concerned... He said if you have anything meaningful that belonged to him and that you're okay parting with, to bring it so we'll send it along with him.
[ They're nearly done, she has only two more questions to ask...
... But she - they - need a break, don't they? She lets go of Ishmael's hands and leans forward without warning to close her arms around her in a very careful and gentle hug. She would sometimes embrace the spear cages in the Underworld upon feeling sorrow and distress from the souls inside... To give them some warmth and comfort, even though she is so cold.
That's the same here, right? There's no cage, she is alive - but she is a distressed soul overwhelmed with sorrow and pain. ]
You're doing great, Ishmael. [She closes her eyes.] But don't be too hard on yourself, okay? It's okay to cry and rely on others.
[ welcoming souls in the afterlife, after going through so much up to their death -- that must've been nice. it's like being carried to your bedroom like a child when you fell asleep on a couch during a family party.
ishmael hopes that wriothesley can hear the laughter in the next room.
and he did leave some items behind, but she's not about to part from his vision anytime soon. it's the symbol of his ambitions, after all. she can give away the ribbons that usually go around his arms and neck. but before she can vocalize this, ereshkigal suddenly leans in for a hug.
ishmael doesn't push her away, thankfully. she's received plenty of hugs since the incident, so she's gotten used to it. but being told that it's okay to cry snaps something in her; she's cried so many times, but no one's told her that it's all right to do just that right now. not until now.
so it doesn't take long for her to start sniffling as tears well up in her eyes once more, and she embraces ereshkigal in return as she begins to sob on her shoulder, her body trembling with grief that she's been trying so hard to cope with her entire life. ]
I-It's just... It keeps happening to me. This isn't the first time... someone I loved had to die in front of me.
[ and queequeg wasn't even granted a proper funeral, despite going through all the trouble of making a coffin in the first place. the coffin that ended up saving ishmael's life all those years ago. ]
But I have no choice. I have to keep... burying them. And carry their memories with me. That's... That's all I can do.
[ When Ishmael starts crying and then speaks, Ereshkigal remains silent and listens. She needs to get it all out. Burying and bottling up your sorrows, it never ends well. Wounds can never get better unless you acknowledge they exist and take the proper steps towards healing.
"It keeps happening to me."
It's so cruel. Ishmael isn't even thirty years into her life, and she has already experienced more pain than any should ever have to deal with. And what's even more cruel is that it will happen again. To live is to suffer, such is the nature of existence. Every moment is a struggle to reach the next. And amidst the suffering, there are moments that shine so brightly, they make life worth it. Even if when it hurts so much, it's so easy to forget those moments exist, it's so easy to believe they are not worth it.
After a moment, Ereshkigal speaks once more. In a gentle and serene - comforting - tone. ]
You have a choice. To keep doing it... Together with the people who love you. [They can bury them together, carry their memories together - and cry together.
She runs a hand through Ishmael's hair before hugging her more protectively.] Let each of us carry a fragment of your sorrow, okay? Not because we have to... But because we want to.
[ right. next time, it won't be just her who will lose someone else, and not just from death either. watching your close friends be dismissed from LILITH is more or less like same, because there's no guarantee you'll see them again.
either way, someone has to leave first. this is a very old story. there is no other version of this story.
ishmael's sobs gradually halts, sniveling on ereshkigal's shoulders as she pulls away to wipe off the tears from her eyes. she needed that hug and those words, idealistic they may be. but she'll hang on to them for dear life, like how she'd clung to a certain coffin in the ocean's tempests not too long ago. ]
...Thank you. There's a lot to carry, but... [ she swallows. ] I do feel it. That love. Even though it can be a burdensome thing.
[ but dealing with burdens with someone is a form of love too, isn't it?
she takes a deep breath. all right, she's ready. ]
Okay. Let's... Let's get this over with. I can still answer any other inquiries you might have for me.
[ Ereshkigal slowly pulls back as well, looking at Ishmael with a sad smile. She's strong, so much stronger than she is. She knows without the shadow of a doubt she'll be able to overcome this pain and move forward. But no matter how strong she is, she'll still need help. She's not familiar with Ishmael's friend circle but if they're would it be half as caring as hers is...
She is in good hands.
She reaches for her face and wipe her tears away, before standing back up. ]
We will have a tombstone here. If you want a specific epitaph for it, tell me and I'll have it written.
[ She turns to a table and takes a pretty heavy book. ]
And lastly... [She opens the book, handing it over to Ishmael.] T-This is something I discovered in this world... Nowadays they can take some of the deceased's ashes and grow a diamond out of it. [Normally it's something of a scam, but with Neo Tokyo's technology is actually feasible.] In the past, they would sometimes make jewelry out of bones... I guess it's an evolution of that custom.
[ In the book, Ishmael can see multiple examples of diamonds and how they're set in different pieces of jewelry. ]
If you would like a piece of jewelry made with his ashes - and perhaps other things that belonged to him - I shall pass on the request to the right person.
[ epitaph... right, okay. more responsibilities. she's going to take responsibility until this is all over.
she wipes more at her eyes before she stares at the thick book she's handed with, flitting through the pages. the gems displayed are gorgeous, and if nobody had told her that they were made with ashes, she would've thought that they were made with real stone -- not unlike the ones found on elysium's wrist, come to think of it. for it's almost tempting to keep one more piece of him with her before he's truly gone.
and yet. ]
They're beautiful. And I understand the sentiment behind it all too well. But... [ she closes the book. ] I don't think he'd appreciate me keeping him around as a piece of jewelry to wear. It's... a little gauche, the more I think about it.
The reason why I wanted to scatter his ashes into the sea is because his homeland, Fontaine, is said to be the place where all their waters originate. It's wishful thinking, but with this I hope that I can return him to where he'd come from. It's what he would've wanted.
[ from ashes to ashes, dust to dust, seafoam to seafoam. he still has unfinished business in his world too, things that will never come to fruition now, but this is the least she can do. ]
As for his epitaph... [ she swallows. ] "For whatever we lose, like a you or me -- it's always ourselves we find in the sea." I'm... obviously not as good with poetry as he is, but...
[ she's bashfully scratching her head now, how embarrassing. yi sang if you are out there, ]
[ She nods. Ereshkigal can see the beauty in that new custom - she's a professional at making DIY jewelry with bones after all and this is an evolution of that practice - but she can also see how really gauche it can be. ]
It is a little strange.
[ She takes back the book and puts it back on a table. She thinks the poetry sounds good, she would hardly be able to do better. ]
Alright. [She smiles at her.] That's everything then. I'll arrange the ceremony and give you the date once we have finished the preparations.
[ She goes back to Ishmael and extends a hand to help her get up from her seat. ]
If you want a shoulder to cry on, don't hesitate to contact me, alright?
[ she lets out a deep breath as she gets up from her seat. on one hand, she's relieved that this won't be her only burden to bear. gods like ereshkigal have been doing this their entire lives, for millennia; while wriothesley is very important to them, he is still just another human at the end of the day. and humans like them often come and go, much like the waves that ebb and flow against the shore. ]
Trust me, I've shed enough tears to fill up an entirely new ocean on my own. [ an awkward laugh. ] But... thank you. So much. I'll keep in touch.
[ and with one last handshake, she turns to leave. but right before she opens the door: ]
Let me know how the cake tastes. I want to buy one for myself next time.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
once again, ishmael doesn't have it in her to get mad. she even huffs out a weak laugh. ]
It is beautiful, in a way. [ some of the gravestones are elaborately designed, telling ishmael all she knows about the person lying beneath or the people who bothered to go that extra mile. some of them have candles and incense that have been recently lit, some of them have flowers. lots and lots of flowers. ]
It's fine. Like I said, I needed some fresh air. [ she then lifts a small paperbag. ] I brought a snack too, in case you were hungry.
[ hope eresh likes cake in a can. ]
1/2
Ereshkigal takes the can and gives it a puzzled look. Blinks blinks. S-She's seen those before, they contain various sorts of drinks, don't they...? And yet she's called it a snack? Does Ishmael feed only with liquids, perhaps? She very carefully pulls on the lid and...
C-Cake?!? ]
H-How curious...
[ It would be most undignified for her to dip a finger in to taste what it is like... ]
no subject
[ She closes the lid and smiles at Ishmael. It's very kind and thoughtful of her. She'll be sure to eat it when she'll be alone. ]
Come, it's warmer inside.
[ It's not a long walk from here to the office Eresh was in. The room is filled with neatly organized clay tablets, hundreds of them by the looks of it-- There are also books on a desk, a few closed cases and a lone chair that's gathering dust. And flowers. Lots of flowers.
... The hallways are pretty empty though. Working at the graveyard isn't exactly a booming business. ]
no subject
reminds her of the flowers wriothesley used to send her, actually.
she silently walks over to a chair and sits down, still taking it all in. ]
Do you... work alone? [ nothing like idle chatter to break up the monotony. ]
no subject
[ It takes a certain kind of person to spend more time with the dead than with the living. Either it's a choice and they're drawn to the job because they like the peace and quiet... Either they have no other choice and they become like that upon sticking with it. ]
My role here is somewhat akin to what they would call a cemetery manager... Though I prefer the word caretaker. [She puts the clay tablet down, neatly atop another.] For Wriothesley, I will also be acting as the mortician and personally handle every step of the process.
[ She turns back to Ishmael and approaches her. ]
What I talked to you about over the network is called embalming. For some people, being able to see the deceased one last time helps them grieve and process their sorrow... [She tilts her head.] But I want you to think about yourself here, alright? It helps some people, but it hurts others. No two souls are the same. [Ereshkigal gets down on a knee and takes Ishmael's hands with her own.
She is a far cry from the usually awkward and self-depreciating goddess when she is in her element, even though the air of sorrow around her is even stronger than usual.] Tezcatlipoca and I can handle the cremation on our own, and then we'll have the ceremony for you and everyone start on the ocean's shores with the scattering of the ashes if that is your preference. There are no wrong answers.
no subject
it takes her a few more seconds after ereshkigal's inquiry before ishmael snaps back to reality, blinking rapidly at the goddess. right, right. focus. her grip tightens in ereshkigal's hold as she considers... all this. ]
I think... it'd be best if the others can see him one last time, in his pristine form. [ before his body torn apart by those ingrates. ] I did... some research, and I like the idea of a eulogy. Where his other peers talk about the good times they had with him. He rarely talks about himself, as you might already know by now.
[ she forces a small laugh here. ]
I didn't know Tezcatlipoca can also perform these kinds of rites. Is it usually customary for gods to bury their own people?
[ even if gods keep a certain distance from their people, having to handle the dead must take a toll on them all the same. ereshkigal, most of all. ]
no subject
We welcome their souls in the afterlife - and in my case, take care of them until they are ready to move on. [A pause.] I-It's very new for me to be on that side of the process.
[ She is the caretaker of those who no longer live. To comfort those left behind... It is far more difficult of a task than she had imagined. But she has to try. Ultimately, it is still what she has always done, even if those she must now comfort are alive. ]
Tezcatlipoca is more knowledgeable than I where cremation is concerned... He said if you have anything meaningful that belonged to him and that you're okay parting with, to bring it so we'll send it along with him.
[ They're nearly done, she has only two more questions to ask...
... But she - they - need a break, don't they? She lets go of Ishmael's hands and leans forward without warning to close her arms around her in a very careful and gentle hug. She would sometimes embrace the spear cages in the Underworld upon feeling sorrow and distress from the souls inside... To give them some warmth and comfort, even though she is so cold.
That's the same here, right? There's no cage, she is alive - but she is a distressed soul overwhelmed with sorrow and pain. ]
You're doing great, Ishmael. [She closes her eyes.] But don't be too hard on yourself, okay? It's okay to cry and rely on others.
no subject
ishmael hopes that wriothesley can hear the laughter in the next room.
and he did leave some items behind, but she's not about to part from his vision anytime soon. it's the symbol of his ambitions, after all. she can give away the ribbons that usually go around his arms and neck. but before she can vocalize this, ereshkigal suddenly leans in for a hug.
ishmael doesn't push her away, thankfully. she's received plenty of hugs since the incident, so she's gotten used to it. but being told that it's okay to cry snaps something in her; she's cried so many times, but no one's told her that it's all right to do just that right now. not until now.
so it doesn't take long for her to start sniffling as tears well up in her eyes once more, and she embraces ereshkigal in return as she begins to sob on her shoulder, her body trembling with grief that she's been trying so hard to cope with her entire life. ]
I-It's just... It keeps happening to me. This isn't the first time... someone I loved had to die in front of me.
[ and queequeg wasn't even granted a proper funeral, despite going through all the trouble of making a coffin in the first place. the coffin that ended up saving ishmael's life all those years ago. ]
But I have no choice. I have to keep... burying them. And carry their memories with me. That's... That's all I can do.
no subject
"It keeps happening to me."
It's so cruel. Ishmael isn't even thirty years into her life, and she has already experienced more pain than any should ever have to deal with. And what's even more cruel is that it will happen again. To live is to suffer, such is the nature of existence. Every moment is a struggle to reach the next. And amidst the suffering, there are moments that shine so brightly, they make life worth it. Even if when it hurts so much, it's so easy to forget those moments exist, it's so easy to believe they are not worth it.
After a moment, Ereshkigal speaks once more. In a gentle and serene - comforting - tone. ]
You have a choice. To keep doing it... Together with the people who love you. [They can bury them together, carry their memories together - and cry together.
She runs a hand through Ishmael's hair before hugging her more protectively.] Let each of us carry a fragment of your sorrow, okay? Not because we have to... But because we want to.
no subject
either way, someone has to leave first. this is a very old story. there is no other version of this story.
ishmael's sobs gradually halts, sniveling on ereshkigal's shoulders as she pulls away to wipe off the tears from her eyes. she needed that hug and those words, idealistic they may be. but she'll hang on to them for dear life, like how she'd clung to a certain coffin in the ocean's tempests not too long ago. ]
...Thank you. There's a lot to carry, but... [ she swallows. ] I do feel it. That love. Even though it can be a burdensome thing.
[ but dealing with burdens with someone is a form of love too, isn't it?
she takes a deep breath. all right, she's ready. ]
Okay. Let's... Let's get this over with. I can still answer any other inquiries you might have for me.
no subject
She is in good hands.
She reaches for her face and wipe her tears away, before standing back up. ]
We will have a tombstone here. If you want a specific epitaph for it, tell me and I'll have it written.
[ She turns to a table and takes a pretty heavy book. ]
And lastly... [She opens the book, handing it over to Ishmael.] T-This is something I discovered in this world... Nowadays they can take some of the deceased's ashes and grow a diamond out of it. [Normally it's something of a scam, but with Neo Tokyo's technology is actually feasible.] In the past, they would sometimes make jewelry out of bones... I guess it's an evolution of that custom.
[ In the book, Ishmael can see multiple examples of diamonds and how they're set in different pieces of jewelry. ]
If you would like a piece of jewelry made with his ashes - and perhaps other things that belonged to him - I shall pass on the request to the right person.
no subject
she wipes more at her eyes before she stares at the thick book she's handed with, flitting through the pages. the gems displayed are gorgeous, and if nobody had told her that they were made with ashes, she would've thought that they were made with real stone -- not unlike the ones found on elysium's wrist, come to think of it. for it's almost tempting to keep one more piece of him with her before he's truly gone.
and yet. ]
They're beautiful. And I understand the sentiment behind it all too well. But... [ she closes the book. ] I don't think he'd appreciate me keeping him around as a piece of jewelry to wear. It's... a little gauche, the more I think about it.
The reason why I wanted to scatter his ashes into the sea is because his homeland, Fontaine, is said to be the place where all their waters originate. It's wishful thinking, but with this I hope that I can return him to where he'd come from. It's what he would've wanted.
[ from ashes to ashes, dust to dust, seafoam to seafoam. he still has unfinished business in his world too, things that will never come to fruition now, but this is the least she can do. ]
As for his epitaph... [ she swallows. ] "For whatever we lose, like a you or me -- it's always ourselves we find in the sea." I'm... obviously not as good with poetry as he is, but...
[ she's bashfully scratching her head now, how embarrassing. yi sang if you are out there, ]
no subject
It is a little strange.
[ She takes back the book and puts it back on a table. She thinks the poetry sounds good, she would hardly be able to do better. ]
Alright. [She smiles at her.] That's everything then. I'll arrange the ceremony and give you the date once we have finished the preparations.
[ She goes back to Ishmael and extends a hand to help her get up from her seat. ]
If you want a shoulder to cry on, don't hesitate to contact me, alright?
no subject
Trust me, I've shed enough tears to fill up an entirely new ocean on my own. [ an awkward laugh. ] But... thank you. So much. I'll keep in touch.
[ and with one last handshake, she turns to leave. but right before she opens the door: ]
Let me know how the cake tastes. I want to buy one for myself next time.
[ and then she's off. ]