You just wanted to see me in a whole different light, huh. Don't think I forgot that you know about my poledancing hobby now too.
[ she's still so mad!! about that!!!!! she'd strangle malkuth if she could. ]
But no, it's not just being undercover. It's about playing those stupid roles where we have to pretend that we're in love when we're not.
[ if she hears from other people one more time that they want to take her to bed that night she's going to scream. are they all that repressed in LILITH?
(yes. yes they are.) ]
I just-- want us to be us, you know? As... friends. [ there, she said it. ] There's nothing wrong with that, right?
[ looks at toji and ishmael banging it out. at least some people are getting it. ]
There isn't.
[ Very cute of her to admit that they're reached the point of friends now instead of just being coworkers. Touching too, in its own way. He doesn't go out of his way to get close to people, other than the requisite friendliness to ensure that everyone gets along - the less workplace drama, the better - but that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate the trust that's offered to him every now and then. ]
If you ask me, that's how things should be. Ideally we all act according to our own desires instead of based on some script given to us by someone else.
[ Alas, things don't always work out that way. He pauses in his walk to face her, expression serious. ]
I don't know what else we'll be expected to do in the future, but please always feel comfortable being yourself when you're with me. In fact, I'd prefer it that way.
[ Not that he didn't have a great time at the club, but his own entertainment is far lower priority than Ishmael's comfort. ]
she stops walking when he does, and - oh. it's kind of surreal, hearing such a simple request from anyone. it's not like she's walking on eggshells around him at all, but knowing that she can her herself - even if she doesn't know who she is or what she wants just yet - around somebody she can trust in this unfamiliar world... it already means a lot to her. it helps that she feels safe and secure around him already that she can readily take him up on this.
it's wild, though. being able to let down her guard around him, even for just a little. but it's not necessarily a bad thing. if anything, it might be too much of a good thing already. ]
Well, lucky for you, I already feel comfortable when you're around.
[ she tries to sound casual, but the smile in her voice is crystal-clear. ]
But I want you to feel the same way around me too. Having even just one person around to understand you can be a saving grace, so... You never know.
[ It would have been enough just to see her relax again, and to see the smile she's started showing him more often than not make a reappearance. Though his life up until now had been defined by trade, an equal exchange of one thing for another, such rules don't apply in the realm of friendship and basic goodwill.
In this regard, he's happy to give with no expectation of receiving anything in return, a silent nod of thanks to the scattered handful of figures (humans and Melusines alike) that had guided his way through his darkest hours.
Somehow though, Ishmael still manages to surprise him, turning right around to redirect that sentiment straight back at him. His eyes widen, surprise momentarily flashing across his face as he stares down at her. How many people have made him that offer in that past, genuinely and with no strings attached? Fewer than he can count.
And then he's ducking his head down, a small huff of laughter escaping him. ]
You really are something else, Ishmael. [ It's a compliment, vague though it sounds. ] I'll try. Fair warning though: it might take some time.
[ Sorry for his issues…..it's not you, it's him. 🥺 ]
[ she smirks, but hey, she managed to take him by surprise for a moment there. it's actually a cute look on him? though it only means that he rarely hears that sentiment from anyone. she really struck gold back on the ship, before--
ahem. ]
And I get it. It was honestly very hard for me to say it. I even thought you'd be against it. [ even though he was the one who reached out to her in the first place. if anything, it's his fault she's even considering this. ] But sure, take your time. It doesn't even have to be me, so long as you aren't truly alone. Because I've been there before.
[ although... just saying that brings about a tiny pang in her chest for some reason, but it's probably nothing. a consequence for opening up, she supposes.
with that said, she starts walking on ahead of him. come on, hurry up. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ she's still so mad!! about that!!!!! she'd strangle malkuth if she could. ]
But no, it's not just being undercover. It's about playing those stupid roles where we have to pretend that we're in love when we're not.
[ if she hears from other people one more time that they want to take her to bed that night she's going to scream. are they all that repressed in LILITH?
(yes. yes they are.) ]
I just-- want us to be us, you know? As... friends. [ there, she said it. ] There's nothing wrong with that, right?
no subject
There isn't.
[ Very cute of her to admit that they're reached the point of friends now instead of just being coworkers. Touching too, in its own way. He doesn't go out of his way to get close to people, other than the requisite friendliness to ensure that everyone gets along - the less workplace drama, the better - but that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate the trust that's offered to him every now and then. ]
If you ask me, that's how things should be. Ideally we all act according to our own desires instead of based on some script given to us by someone else.
[ Alas, things don't always work out that way. He pauses in his walk to face her, expression serious. ]
I don't know what else we'll be expected to do in the future, but please always feel comfortable being yourself when you're with me. In fact, I'd prefer it that way.
[ Not that he didn't have a great time at the club, but his own entertainment is far lower priority than Ishmael's comfort. ]
no subject
she stops walking when he does, and - oh. it's kind of surreal, hearing such a simple request from anyone. it's not like she's walking on eggshells around him at all, but knowing that she can her herself - even if she doesn't know who she is or what she wants just yet - around somebody she can trust in this unfamiliar world... it already means a lot to her. it helps that she feels safe and secure around him already that she can readily take him up on this.
it's wild, though. being able to let down her guard around him, even for just a little. but it's not necessarily a bad thing. if anything, it might be too much of a good thing already. ]
Well, lucky for you, I already feel comfortable when you're around.
[ she tries to sound casual, but the smile in her voice is crystal-clear. ]
But I want you to feel the same way around me too. Having even just one person around to understand you can be a saving grace, so... You never know.
no subject
In this regard, he's happy to give with no expectation of receiving anything in return, a silent nod of thanks to the scattered handful of figures (humans and Melusines alike) that had guided his way through his darkest hours.
Somehow though, Ishmael still manages to surprise him, turning right around to redirect that sentiment straight back at him. His eyes widen, surprise momentarily flashing across his face as he stares down at her. How many people have made him that offer in that past, genuinely and with no strings attached? Fewer than he can count.
And then he's ducking his head down, a small huff of laughter escaping him. ]
You really are something else, Ishmael. [ It's a compliment, vague though it sounds. ] I'll try. Fair warning though: it might take some time.
[ Sorry for his issues…..it's not you, it's him. 🥺 ]
no subject
[ she smirks, but hey, she managed to take him by surprise for a moment there. it's actually a cute look on him? though it only means that he rarely hears that sentiment from anyone. she really struck gold back on the ship, before--
ahem. ]
And I get it. It was honestly very hard for me to say it. I even thought you'd be against it. [ even though he was the one who reached out to her in the first place. if anything, it's his fault she's even considering this. ] But sure, take your time. It doesn't even have to be me, so long as you aren't truly alone. Because I've been there before.
[ although... just saying that brings about a tiny pang in her chest for some reason, but it's probably nothing. a consequence for opening up, she supposes.
with that said, she starts walking on ahead of him. come on, hurry up. ]