[ her room, like everyone else's, is plain aside from the small personalized touches she's acquired over the past few months; like a blanket draped over a bed where a donald duck plushie reigns over it, and a fishbowl already filled with colorful rocks and plants on her desk. still no fish, though.
she turns off the roomba that's been cleaning her floor and turns to him. ]
Um. You can sit anywhere, if you like.
why tf did my computer decide to send that so early
[ if i don't joke about it i will have nothing...................
Cute room though. He follows behind, eyes glancing around to take note of all the accoutrements all set up.
There's a plastic bag dangling off one arm, from which he pulls out several bottles of soju (because the flavors are fun and he prefers his drinks a little sweeter) and two small glasses. She doesn't need to use them though. ]
But he follows her lead to take a seat on the floor, criss-crossing his legs in front of him. It's been a long time he's sat around so informally; turns out, it's a nice change of pace. He sets his stash on the ground, letting her take first pick of the assorted flavors before grabbing a bottle for himself, cracking it open and then filling up his soju glass. ]
[ a shake of her head. ] Can't really afford to get drunk back home. I was... very busy.
[ very busy having a mental breakdown, but um. that's a story for later, maybe. anyway she picks out peach for herself and fills her glass up, holding it out to him. ]
But he'll give her a small smile, clinking his glass against hers. ]
Cheers.
[ Down the hatch it goes! And now that he's got some liquid courage in him (unnecessary but still appreciated) it's time to circle back to the original reason he'd paid her a visit. After he stares into his glass for about ten more seconds, the smile slowly fading off his face. ]
You asked me a long time ago where I got my scars from.
Edited (i'm turning into you with these edits) 2024-04-12 23:08 (UTC)
[ she takes the shot and -- oh. the atmosphere turned a little somber all of a sudden. she was planning to hold back on the drinking anyway in case there will be another repeat of the sapphire room incident, but she intends of giving him her utmost attention all the same. ]
I remember. You told me that you'd gotten them from some fights.
[ and not from some undersea monster... tch :/
but they must've come from something else, then. something much more personal, if he's finally coming around to telling her today. ]
[ He continues staring into his glass, tilting it this way and that just for a small visual distraction, the indifferent look on his face matching the dispassionate tone of his voice. Might as well be talking about the weather instead of one of the most unpleasant periods of his life. ]
Before I became the warden of the Fortress of Meropide, I was an inmate there. There was, and still is, a place called the Pankration ring. A sort of fighter's ring for people to let off some steam, or earn some extra Coupons.
[ The abrupt mention of coupons sounds so unhinged out of context.....But he will not elaborate, choosing instead to pour himself some more soju and take another hefty drink. ]
I spent most of my time fighting there. It was the easiest way to survive.
[ in hindsight, this shouldn't be a huge shock to her, but she's blinking at him in surprise anyway. all this time, she'd thought he's too nice to be working in a place like that, but...?! ]
Really?
[ she takes another good look at him. the scar under his right eye, the ones that go down his neck, the various nicks and scratches on his arms -- she can only imagine what kind of opponents he had to fight through underground, just to get a scrap to eat, presumably. coupons sound odd out of context, but it doesn't really take a genius to figure out that they're probably used to redeem things, like food or whatever. she's an honor student that way.
still, she has to ask now that he brought it up. she pours herself another glass and braces herself, her voice quiet. ]
[ There it is, the million dollar question, and a vague look of distaste flickers across his face.
Give him a moment to take another sip, even if he's suddenly wishing he'd brought something a little stronger so that the sting of alcohol against the back of his throat can truly snap his senses awake. Well, it's not as though there aren't people already aware of his criminal past, even if he can count the number he's told personally on one hand.
And then he's looking up, meeting her gaze as he answers evenly. ]
[ and there it is. ishmael doesn't show any outward reaction to the loredrop, but she is pretty floored by the revelation on the inside. it's not uncommon to kill in the City -- at least in the Backstreets where it'll forever be lawless compared to the safer Nest she lived in -- but family is another thing. not that she feels any real emotional attachment to hers either, but...
she nods solemnly, takes another shot. it must've been hard for him to spill something like that to her, what with how awfully secretive he can be, so to hear this from him now is... ]
They did something to you, didn't they.
[ he's always been a rational guy. something must have pushed him to the edge, even if it is the people who took him in. the fact that she would know this is making her a little heady. ]
[ His fingers pause in surprise at the question, an unconscious frown springing to his lips. Not why or how come, but an allegation directed at the deceased rather than the one that had murdered them. ]
What makes you say that?
[ It's more of a pointless quip than a question, and certainly not one he expects an answer to—or one he gives her much time to answer, his own reply coming hot on the heels of another large gulp. This is the most he's drunk with anyone since arriving here.
He glances back down at his glass, swirling the last dregs of his drink around. ]
Technically, they never physically hurt me. They always treated me quite well, in fact. [ For a moment he almost sounds like his usual self, voice lilting upwards before it hardens again. ] It's just a shame that they never saw me as anything more than currency, an animal to be raised and then sold to the highest bidder.
[ horrible. reprehensible. trafficking is definitely a thing in the City, but ishmael is lucky enough not to have heard more personal tales about it from any of her peers on the bus, nor from her fellow sailors when she was still working as one. her math may not be math-ing right now since she's currently drinking, but the fact that he was going to be sold as the highest bidder by his foster parents... meant that this happened when he was probably a kid. maybe. either way it must've happened way back then.
her grip around the glass tightens. being used like livestock and not having the power to break out of it... it's bringing back some fresh, unpleasant memories for her too. ]
I don't blame you. For killing them. [ he has every right to, in her honest opinion. she pours herself another glass and throws it back. ] I wanted to kill someone who did the same thing to me, too.
[ She should blame him for killing them, at least a little bit. At the end of the day, murder is murder no matter how justified the reason. It's blood on his hands he'll never wash off, and a memory in his mind he'll never be able forget completely.
But it does take a backseat now at her admission, his eyes widening and frown deepening as he stares at her. Even his drink goes forgotten as he tries to process this new information. The reminder of just how cruel some people can be makes him angry, but more than that it makes his heart ache, to know that she'd been used and then betrayed in a similar way. No one should ever have to go through something like that. ]
Did you?
[ Kill them, that is. Or did she break out of the cycle before he could? ]
[ nope, sorry. wriothesley might discover that she can be a tad too pragmatic for her own good. fool her once, shame on her; fool her twice... well, that's an instant mace to the head. she just doesn't have it in her to give a shit once she's completely been wronged after everything she's been through. something something about hell having no fury for a woman scorned or whatever.
but that being said: ] I decided to spare her. To remind me of the sins I committed with the path I've taken.
[ and, well, that bitch might have already died anyway but this ain't about her rn. it's complicated to explain in one sitting anyway. so she looks at him with a small smile. ]
But that's a story for another day. [ it's still wrio's time to shine. ] It must've been hard though, telling me all this. But... why now?
[ Is it weird that he's relieved she didn't? She would have had the right to but somehow it's reassuring to know she didn't cave to the darkness inside of her, no matter what the reason might have been.
But....hmm. He goes quiet, pausing again to pour himself some more soju, though he doesn't drink from it right away. There's a nice buzz at the back of his head, lowkey but warm. ]
During the last mission, you told me you wanted me to feel comfortable around you the same way you are around me.
[ He's been thinking about those words a lot since then, turning them over in his head while he downs his breakfast each morning, and before bed each night as he turns off the lights. Words are shallow, hollow things but actions....those are a little different.
He lifts his glass and gestures, a small but sweeping motion meant to encapsulate everything around them. ]
I do feel comfortable around you.
[ Comfortable enough to sit here on the floor of her room knocking back soju, and to trust her enough to share with her the ugly parts of his past he's locked away in his heart all these years. It all comes full circle.
Also she'd been fucking asleep the last time he'd said it so now he has to say it again. :/ ]
[ she was actually very close to giving in to that darkness, and even now she still desires to squeeze the very life out of that woman with her own two hands. but as a certain fixer would've put it -- that's that, and this is this.
but oh. oh, this is a big deal, and she knows it. he's probably being needled by his peers to open up for a long while now, ishmael included, so for him to tell her upfront about the one thing that he's probably kept close to his chest till today... she's floored, and it's a good thing she's literally sitting on the floor right now. ]
Er, well... [ she can't help but stammer. it's so rare of him to be this earnest, ok. wtf. ] I'm honored. Very honored. Um.
[ a pause, as she starts to put two and two together with her soju-filled brain. she's trying so fucking hard. ]
So you really meant that. You could've easily just stopped me when I kissed you, but...
[ ...she's going to pour two more shots than this, her cheeks flaring as she does so. actually, can she just drink straight from the bottle? that sounds pretty good right about now, let her try just that. ]
Actually, it's kind of funny how seriously she's trying to respond to everything he's told her. He's weirdly charmed by it. Too bad it only lasts for half a minute before they're shifting towards a topic that's mildly uncomfortable for different reasons. ]
Meant what, kissing you?
[ They're really gonna go back to that again, huh. ]
I don't usually kiss people I'm not interested in, Ishmael.
[ And okay, sometimes that interest is purely for sex but that's still a valid interest!! Not the specific interest being shown here (okay, maybe a little bit) but that's not the point. The point is--wait, hang on, he has to point at the soju bottle she's trying to down first. ]
Are you sure you should be drinking that much?
[ Did she already forget what happened the last time she got wasted in front of him? ]
[ of course she wants to respond to everything he told her! she is taking this seriously!! but maybe she has to give up drinking for the rest of the night for that, huh. she hesitates, before giving him the bottle. he'll be in charge of her intake tonight u_u
and of course she's going to bring that up again. she couldn't get it out of her mind since. and with him here, she probably wouldn't mind going for it again, but that's the alcohol talking for her. definitely.
she sighs, closing her eyes in embarrassment. ]
A... lot of the girls are interested in you, too.
[ she counted. his name was brought up plenty of times during the discussion on who they all wanted to get with. she didn't think much of it back then, but now... ]
Would you have done the same thing to any of them? [ a pause, before aggressively shaking her head. ] Sorry. This is ridiculous, I know.
[ this sucks. it really does feel like she's back to being a teenage schoolgirl again. ]
[ The way he's heard this from two separate people now....Those girls sure were chatty, huh?
Also he's been so honest this evening that the thought of having to be even more honest about his feelings is starting to give him hives, but thankfully his braincells are working overtime and starting to put two and two together. A bunch of girls talking about him....Sooyoung sending him a boatload of nonsense a few days ago....
Wait a minute.
He sits up straight, eyes narrowing. ]
Was Sooyoung there?
[ This is not deflection, he'll circle back around later. ]
[ Ignore him as he mutters to himself and takes another drink. This explains everything!!! She probably wrote more about other people too then, huh? But this conversation ain't about Sooyoung, and he's quick to turn things back to the original topic.
Louder: ]
I'd prefer it if she didn't put me on any lists, so that's quite fine. [ ANYWAY. ] You're quite the popular choice yourself though, you know. Are you sure you wouldn't do that with someone else?
[ With everyone is apparently the only answer here, but before he can answer with that, Ishmael's flopping over against her bed and whatever thoughts of guys' or girls' gossip sputters to a halt as a thread of concern snakes its way ahead.
He puts his glass down, just in case he has to help her up onto her bed or towards the bathroom. ]
[ i mean, it's soju. but it's not just the drink that's making ishmael feel weird -- her drunken mind is working over time in a futile effort to be rational at a time like this as she dwells on the question wriothesley asked her a moment ago.
would she have done the same with the other guys? obviously the first one to come to mind is toji. he was the other person she'd kissed with tongue before so she figured it'd be the same... but it's not. she can't see herself doing that to him in semi-public, out of sheer worry and impulsivity. what they have is different; it was purely physical, nothing more.
but now this leaves her with only one conclusion. why she'd rather do it with wriothesley, and why she wouldn't hesitate to do it again in better, less harrowing circumstances. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
> action
anyway she's here, opening the door. ]
Hey. Come in.
[ her room, like everyone else's, is plain aside from the small personalized touches she's acquired over the past few months; like a blanket draped over a bed where a donald duck plushie reigns over it, and a fishbowl already filled with colorful rocks and plants on her desk. still no fish, though.
she turns off the roomba that's been cleaning her floor and turns to him. ]
Um. You can sit anywhere, if you like.
why tf did my computer decide to send that so early
Cute room though. He follows behind, eyes glancing around to take note of all the accoutrements all set up.
There's a plastic bag dangling off one arm, from which he pulls out several bottles of soju (because the flavors are fun and he prefers his drinks a little sweeter) and two small glasses. She doesn't need to use them though. ]
I see you've been decorating.
[ but why tf is the fish bowl empty? ]
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[ that's like her bestie okay :/ also it's bc she's been busy decorating it. she'll find a fish soon, dw.
anyway, she's just going to sit on the floor for this. this is where she and izou drank last time, and it was a nice compromise. ]
Soju? [ she beams. ] It's been a while since I had those.
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[ His picky princess drink palate... :/
But he follows her lead to take a seat on the floor, criss-crossing his legs in front of him. It's been a long time he's sat around so informally; turns out, it's a nice change of pace. He sets his stash on the ground, letting her take first pick of the assorted flavors before grabbing a bottle for himself, cracking it open and then filling up his soju glass. ]
You don't buy any for yourself usually?
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[ very busy having a mental breakdown, but um. that's a story for later, maybe. anyway she picks out peach for herself and fills her glass up, holding it out to him. ]
Cheers?
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But he'll give her a small smile, clinking his glass against hers. ]
Cheers.
[ Down the hatch it goes! And now that he's got some liquid courage in him (unnecessary but still appreciated) it's time to circle back to the original reason he'd paid her a visit. After he stares into his glass for about ten more seconds, the smile slowly fading off his face. ]
You asked me a long time ago where I got my scars from.
wtf
I remember. You told me that you'd gotten them from some fights.
[ and not from some undersea monster... tch :/
but they must've come from something else, then. something much more personal, if he's finally coming around to telling her today. ]
What... happened?
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I did.
[ He continues staring into his glass, tilting it this way and that just for a small visual distraction, the indifferent look on his face matching the dispassionate tone of his voice. Might as well be talking about the weather instead of one of the most unpleasant periods of his life. ]
Before I became the warden of the Fortress of Meropide, I was an inmate there. There was, and still is, a place called the Pankration ring. A sort of fighter's ring for people to let off some steam, or earn some extra Coupons.
[ The abrupt mention of coupons sounds so unhinged out of context.....But he will not elaborate, choosing instead to pour himself some more soju and take another hefty drink. ]
I spent most of my time fighting there. It was the easiest way to survive.
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Really?
[ she takes another good look at him. the scar under his right eye, the ones that go down his neck, the various nicks and scratches on his arms -- she can only imagine what kind of opponents he had to fight through underground, just to get a scrap to eat, presumably. coupons sound odd out of context, but it doesn't really take a genius to figure out that they're probably used to redeem things, like food or whatever. she's an honor student that way.
still, she has to ask now that he brought it up. she pours herself another glass and braces herself, her voice quiet. ]
...What were you in for?
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Give him a moment to take another sip, even if he's suddenly wishing he'd brought something a little stronger so that the sting of alcohol against the back of his throat can truly snap his senses awake. Well, it's not as though there aren't people already aware of his criminal past, even if he can count the number he's told personally on one hand.
And then he's looking up, meeting her gaze as he answers evenly. ]
I killed my foster parents.
[ sometimes you do a little murder, as a treat! ]
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she nods solemnly, takes another shot. it must've been hard for him to spill something like that to her, what with how awfully secretive he can be, so to hear this from him now is... ]
They did something to you, didn't they.
[ he's always been a rational guy. something must have pushed him to the edge, even if it is the people who took him in. the fact that she would know this is making her a little heady. ]
cw: mentions of child trafficking
What makes you say that?
[ It's more of a pointless quip than a question, and certainly not one he expects an answer to—or one he gives her much time to answer, his own reply coming hot on the heels of another large gulp. This is the most he's drunk with anyone since arriving here.
He glances back down at his glass, swirling the last dregs of his drink around. ]
Technically, they never physically hurt me. They always treated me quite well, in fact. [ For a moment he almost sounds like his usual self, voice lilting upwards before it hardens again. ] It's just a shame that they never saw me as anything more than currency, an animal to be raised and then sold to the highest bidder.
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[ horrible. reprehensible. trafficking is definitely a thing in the City, but ishmael is lucky enough not to have heard more personal tales about it from any of her peers on the bus, nor from her fellow sailors when she was still working as one. her math may not be math-ing right now since she's currently drinking, but the fact that he was going to be sold as the highest bidder by his foster parents... meant that this happened when he was probably a kid. maybe. either way it must've happened way back then.
her grip around the glass tightens. being used like livestock and not having the power to break out of it... it's bringing back some fresh, unpleasant memories for her too. ]
I don't blame you. For killing them. [ he has every right to, in her honest opinion. she pours herself another glass and throws it back. ] I wanted to kill someone who did the same thing to me, too.
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But it does take a backseat now at her admission, his eyes widening and frown deepening as he stares at her. Even his drink goes forgotten as he tries to process this new information. The reminder of just how cruel some people can be makes him angry, but more than that it makes his heart ache, to know that she'd been used and then betrayed in a similar way. No one should ever have to go through something like that. ]
Did you?
[ Kill them, that is. Or did she break out of the cycle before he could? ]
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but that being said: ] I decided to spare her. To remind me of the sins I committed with the path I've taken.
[ and, well, that bitch might have already died anyway but this ain't about her rn. it's complicated to explain in one sitting anyway. so she looks at him with a small smile. ]
But that's a story for another day. [ it's still wrio's time to shine. ] It must've been hard though, telling me all this. But... why now?
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But....hmm. He goes quiet, pausing again to pour himself some more soju, though he doesn't drink from it right away. There's a nice buzz at the back of his head, lowkey but warm. ]
During the last mission, you told me you wanted me to feel comfortable around you the same way you are around me.
[ He's been thinking about those words a lot since then, turning them over in his head while he downs his breakfast each morning, and before bed each night as he turns off the lights. Words are shallow, hollow things but actions....those are a little different.
He lifts his glass and gestures, a small but sweeping motion meant to encapsulate everything around them. ]
I do feel comfortable around you.
[ Comfortable enough to sit here on the floor of her room knocking back soju, and to trust her enough to share with her the ugly parts of his past he's locked away in his heart all these years. It all comes full circle.
Also she'd been fucking asleep the last time he'd said it so now he has to say it again. :/ ]
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but oh. oh, this is a big deal, and she knows it. he's probably being needled by his peers to open up for a long while now, ishmael included, so for him to tell her upfront about the one thing that he's probably kept close to his chest till today... she's floored, and it's a good thing she's literally sitting on the floor right now. ]
Er, well... [ she can't help but stammer. it's so rare of him to be this earnest, ok. wtf. ] I'm honored. Very honored. Um.
[ a pause, as she starts to put two and two together with her soju-filled brain. she's trying so fucking hard. ]
So you really meant that. You could've easily just stopped me when I kissed you, but...
[ ...she's going to pour two more shots than this, her cheeks flaring as she does so. actually, can she just drink straight from the bottle? that sounds pretty good right about now, let her try just that. ]
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Actually, it's kind of funny how seriously she's trying to respond to everything he's told her. He's weirdly charmed by it. Too bad it only lasts for half a minute before they're shifting towards a topic that's mildly uncomfortable for different reasons. ]
Meant what, kissing you?
[ They're really gonna go back to that again, huh. ]
I don't usually kiss people I'm not interested in, Ishmael.
[ And okay, sometimes that interest is purely for sex but that's still a valid interest!! Not the specific interest being shown here (okay, maybe a little bit) but that's not the point. The point is--wait, hang on, he has to point at the soju bottle she's trying to down first. ]
Are you sure you should be drinking that much?
[ Did she already forget what happened the last time she got wasted in front of him? ]
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and of course she's going to bring that up again. she couldn't get it out of her mind since. and with him here, she probably wouldn't mind going for it again, but that's the alcohol talking for her. definitely.
she sighs, closing her eyes in embarrassment. ]
A... lot of the girls are interested in you, too.
[ she counted. his name was brought up plenty of times during the discussion on who they all wanted to get with. she didn't think much of it back then, but now... ]
Would you have done the same thing to any of them? [ a pause, before aggressively shaking her head. ] Sorry. This is ridiculous, I know.
[ this sucks. it really does feel like she's back to being a teenage schoolgirl again. ]
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Also he's been so honest this evening that the thought of having to be even more honest about his feelings is starting to give him hives, but thankfully his braincells are working overtime and starting to put two and two together. A bunch of girls talking about him....Sooyoung sending him a boatload of nonsense a few days ago....
Wait a minute.
He sits up straight, eyes narrowing. ]
Was Sooyoung there?
[ This is not deflection, he'll circle back around later. ]
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I don't remember if she said if you were hot though, so don't question me that...
[ help.......... ]
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[ Ignore him as he mutters to himself and takes another drink. This explains everything!!! She probably wrote more about other people too then, huh? But this conversation ain't about Sooyoung, and he's quick to turn things back to the original topic.
Louder: ]
I'd prefer it if she didn't put me on any lists, so that's quite fine. [ ANYWAY. ] You're quite the popular choice yourself though, you know. Are you sure you wouldn't do that with someone else?
[ Now he's deflecting. ]
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A popular choice with who?
[ DOES SHE WANT TO KNOW??? it's probably just toji. but if toji's there, then what if he's been blabbing to the guys about his thing with her?
she doesn't feel good all of a sudden, as she leans her head on the edge of the bed. ough... ]
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He puts his glass down, just in case he has to help her up onto her bed or towards the bathroom. ]
Ishmael? Are you alright?
[ DID SHE HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRINK.... ]
1/3
would she have done the same with the other guys? obviously the first one to come to mind is toji. he was the other person she'd kissed with tongue before so she figured it'd be the same... but it's not. she can't see herself doing that to him in semi-public, out of sheer worry and impulsivity. what they have is different; it was purely physical, nothing more.
but now this leaves her with only one conclusion. why she'd rather do it with wriothesley, and why she wouldn't hesitate to do it again in better, less harrowing circumstances. ]
2/3
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